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   Make Me Laugh
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   Author  Topic: Make Me Laugh  (Read 12507 times)
earthlingorgeous
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Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #60 on: Oct 6th, 2005, 9:40am »
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If you can't read it squint  Grin
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CapuchinO
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Indonesia  Jakarta
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# 228




help me with the cookie !!!!!!!

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Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #61 on: Oct 6th, 2005, 1:15pm »
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NO SEX CAUSES BAD EYES  

EARTHLING EARTHLING EARTHLING EARTHLING EARTHLING EARTHLING EARTHLING EARTHLING EARTHLING EARTHLING EARTHLING EARTHLING EARTHLING EARTHLING

Grin
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life is just like a glas of capuchino...you can make it good if you know how to make one...(a lil sugar. choco powder and whipped cream on top)...youll found it bitter but sweet...
Wicked_Witch
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Philippines  Manila
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I'm not old, you are just younger. Hehehe!

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Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #62 on: Oct 7th, 2005, 3:12am »
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A woman was depressed at the fact she had not had a date nor any sex for
quite some time.
 
Afraid she might have something wrong with her, she decided to employ the
medical expertise of a
sex therapist.
 
Her personal physician recommended Dr Wang, a well-known Chinese sex
therapist.
 
So she went and saw him.
 
Upon entering the examination room, Dr Wang took one look at her and
said:
 
"Ok, take off aw your crows."
 
She quickly disrobed and stood naked before him. "Now," said Dr Wang,
 
"get
dow on your knees and
craw reery, reery fass away from me to other side of room."
 
 
 
Having done that, Dr Wang said:
 
 
"Ok, turn row and craw reery, reery fass back to me."
 
Once again she obliged.
 
Dr Wang slowly shook his head. "Ok, your probrem vaywe, vaywe bad, you
got
Ed Zachary Disease.
 
"Worse case I ever see. That why you have no dates, that why you no get
sex."
 
 
Confused, the woman asked: "What is Ed Zachary Disease?"
 
Wang replied:
 
 
"It when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your arse !"
 
 
 

 
« Last Edit: Oct 7th, 2005, 3:18am by Wicked_Witch » IP Logged

She who have not sinned may cast the first stone.
CooCHie
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Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #63 on: Oct 8th, 2005, 5:58am »
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Just laffing at the text , cant get the punchline but how u type it is pretty funny witchy poJust laffing at the text , cant get the punchline but how u type it is pretty funny witchy poJust laffing at the text , cant get the punchline but how u type it is pretty funny witchy poJust laffing at the text , cant get the punchline but how u type it is pretty funny witchy po
« Last Edit: Oct 8th, 2005, 6:00am by CooCHie » IP Logged

The greatest thing in this world is being alive...we only live once..Treat yourself everyday as if it is your last day!!Life is precious to ignore!!Be happy!!
CooCHie
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Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #64 on: Oct 9th, 2005, 2:01am »
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   A family is at the dinner table.  The son asks
 
his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
breasts.  In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and
firm.  In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
hanging a bit.  After fifty, they are like onions."
 
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
 
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases.  In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard.  In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible
but reliable.  After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
 
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
   A family is at the dinner table.  The son asks
 
his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
breasts.  In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and
firm.  In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
hanging a bit.  After fifty, they are like onions."
 
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
 
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases.  In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard.  In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible
but reliable.  After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
 
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
   A family is at the dinner table.  The son asks
 
his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
breasts.  In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and
firm.  In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
hanging a bit.  After fifty, they are like onions."
 
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
 
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases.  In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard.  In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible
but reliable.  After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
 
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
   A family is at the dinner table.  The son asks
 
his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
breasts.  In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and
firm.  In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
hanging a bit.  After fifty, they are like onions."
 
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
 
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases.  In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard.  In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible
but reliable.  After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
 
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
   A family is at the dinner table.  The son asks
 
his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
breasts.  In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and
firm.  In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
hanging a bit.  After fifty, they are like onions."
 
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
 
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases.  In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard.  In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible
but reliable.  After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
 
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
   A family is at the dinner table.  The son asks
 
his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
breasts.  In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and
firm.  In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
hanging a bit.  After fifty, they are like onions."
 
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
 
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases.  In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard.  In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible
but reliable.  After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
 
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
   A family is at the dinner table.  The son asks
 
his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
breasts.  In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and
firm.  In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
hanging a bit.  After fifty, they are like onions."
 
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
 
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases.  In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard.  In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible
but reliable.  After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
 
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
   A family is at the dinner table.  The son asks
 
his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
breasts.  In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and
firm.  In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
hanging a bit.  After fifty, they are like onions."
 
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
 
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases.  In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard.  In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible
but reliable.  After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
 
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
   A family is at the dinner table.  The son asks
 
his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
breasts.  In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and
firm.  In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
hanging a bit.  After fifty, they are like onions."
 
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
 
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases.  In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard.  In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible
but reliable.  After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
 
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
   A family is at the dinner table.  The son asks
 
his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
breasts.  In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and
firm.  In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
hanging a bit.  After fifty, they are like onions."
 
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
 
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases.  In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard.  In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible
but reliable.  After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
 
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
   A family is at the dinner table.  The son asks
 
his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
breasts.  In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and
firm.  In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
hanging a bit.  After fifty, they are like onions."
 
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
 
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases.  In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard.  In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible
but reliable.  After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
 
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
   A family is at the dinner table.  The son asks
 
his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
breasts.  In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and
firm.  In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
hanging a bit.  After fifty, they are like onions."
 
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
 
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases.  In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard.  In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible
but reliable.  After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
 
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
   A family is at the dinner table.  The son asks
 
his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
breasts.  In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and
firm.  In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
hanging a bit.  After fifty, they are like onions."
 
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
 
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases.  In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard.  In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible
but reliable.  After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
 
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
   A family is at the dinner table.  The son asks
 
his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
breasts.  In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and
firm.  In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
hanging a bit.  After fifty, they are like onions."
 
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
 
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes
through three phases.  In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard.  In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible
but reliable.  After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
 
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
« Last Edit: Oct 9th, 2005, 2:07am by CooCHie » IP Logged

The greatest thing in this world is being alive...we only live once..Treat yourself everyday as if it is your last day!!Life is precious to ignore!!Be happy!!
Jimbo
Beginner
USA  Pennsylvania
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# 196



When one door of happiness closes, another opens

  Jimbo1706  
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Posts: 108
Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #65 on: Oct 9th, 2005, 3:38pm »
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Grin
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria is that defines whether a patient should be institutionalized or not.   "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub with water, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the water out of the tub."   Okay, here's your test:  
 1. Would you use the teaspoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?  
 "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the   bucket since it is larger than the teacup or spoon."    
"No," answered the Director.   "A normal person would pull out the stopper."
 
dunno why it won't spell t e a s p o o n Roll Eyes
« Last Edit: Oct 9th, 2005, 3:43pm by Jimbo » IP Logged

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Wicked_Witch
Premier Expert
Philippines  Manila
*****
# 201



I'm not old, you are just younger. Hehehe!

  the_wicked_witch13  
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Gender: female
Posts: 3667
Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #66 on: Oct 10th, 2005, 2:56am »
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Hey, Jimbo..I want a room with a view please!!
Cooch, the man is Chinese so he was speaking english in his Chinese way TongueEnglish translation: Ed Zachary<<<<reads exactly he said the woman's face look exactly like her arse!
A friend send this to me as offline and I'm not sure if any of you has received this but I think it's really funny so I'm posting it anyway:
 
"Little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born?" The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! So here goes. Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via email with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said: You've Got Male!
 
 
« Last Edit: Oct 10th, 2005, 3:02am by Wicked_Witch » IP Logged

She who have not sinned may cast the first stone.
Jimbo
Beginner
USA  Pennsylvania
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# 196



When one door of happiness closes, another opens

  Jimbo1706  
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Gender: male
Posts: 108
Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #67 on: Oct 13th, 2005, 8:31am »
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Grin
Disappearing Wife
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home,  
he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.  
 
When He finally appeared at home, Sunday Night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and  
was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.
 
Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. "How would you like it if you didn't  
see me for two or three days?"  
To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."  
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.  
Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.  
 
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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Jimbo
Beginner
USA  Pennsylvania
*
# 196



When one door of happiness closes, another opens

  Jimbo1706  
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Gender: male
Posts: 108
Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #68 on: Oct 16th, 2005, 4:36pm »
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Grin
Male to Female to Male one liners or two  
BOY : May I hold your hand?  
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.  
 
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!  
BOY : You love me...  
 
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??  
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??  
 
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.  
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple  
 
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.  
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??  
 
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!  
GIRL : How soon??  
 
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!  
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??  
 
MAN : You remind me of the sea.  
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?  
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.  
 
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.  
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.  
 
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?  
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.  
 
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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
CooCHie
Premier Expert
Luxembourg  Dreamland
*****
# 12




Fart Knockers

   
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Posts: 1535
Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #69 on: Oct 17th, 2005, 6:56am »
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FUNNY FUNNY JIMBO!!!!
Grin Grin
« Last Edit: Oct 17th, 2005, 6:57am by CooCHie » IP Logged

The greatest thing in this world is being alive...we only live once..Treat yourself everyday as if it is your last day!!Life is precious to ignore!!Be happy!!
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