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   Lovingly Yours Madam M
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   Author  Topic: Lovingly Yours Madam M  (Read 2288 times)
mylane
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Lovingly Yours Madam M
« on: Nov 4th, 2004, 10:47pm »
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Aloha, Madam M is here, your fairgaymother at your service from the land of Turkmenistan just to spread the love and beauty in your land Grin
 
If you have a problem or any suggestion don't hesitate to pop a question, when it comes to heart, fashion and beauty tips problem.
 
Write your Madam M Grin
 
 
Okie we have a first letter now....wow that was fast.
 
 
Dear Madam M,
 
I'm 31 yrs. old and I always want to maintain my young looks, In short Madam M, I always wanna be young. What am I going to do? Thank you very much Madam M. Hope you can help me with my problem.
 
Lovingly yours,
Baby Ina
 
 
Dear Baby Ina,  
 
Your problem is very simple. All  you have to do is wear a diaper everyday then buy some pacifier, then put it in your mouth. And then crawl always, don't walk. I'm sure if someone saw you, they will think that you are so very young.
 
 
Your Madam M.
 
« Last Edit: Nov 4th, 2004, 10:48pm by mylane » IP Logged
mylane
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Re: Lovingly Yours Madam M
« Reply #1 on: Nov 6th, 2004, 8:34am »
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okie I just received another letter from Jockey Tyan.
 
Dear Madam M,  
 
We all know that Horse shampoo is quite popular at this moment. Its not only to thicken the hair, but it strengthen it as well and also gives a wonderful shining hair. But due to the popularity and  the admiration of the public,  there are lots of fake, imitation, duplication, counterfeit etc etc...that are now manufacturing fake horse shampoo.
 
How can I know that what I buy isn't a fake one? or How would I know it is fake?
 
Lovingly yours,  
Jockey Tyan
 
Hi Jockey, Yes, theres a lot of fakes horse shampoo that are now spreads to the public in groceries...drugstores..etc  
 
Well,  I will list down some of the methods and indications to know if you bought a fake horse shampoo.
 
First, if you saw the picture of Richie de Horsie or Roderick Paulate aka Petrang kabayo on its label ---- its FAKE.
 
Second, if its stated that "Breastmilk is still best for Babies ---- again its FAKE
 
Third, if the label of the shampoo has a Horse with a tabacco on its mouth --- gosh its a FAKE ( shampoo ng kapre na bili mo)
 
Fourth, if u tried to drink the shampoo and it didn't bubbles in your mouth --- its FAKE
 
Fifth, if u tried using the said shampoo and suddenly after using it you BARK, PURR or do some weird animal action  ..pls go to the nearest Veterinary Clinic for immediate medication. You can consult thebeast aka Joel---its fake
 
Sixth, if you suddenly  feel flaky on your scalf or you grow some scales in your scalp thats a shokoy shampoo--- its a FAKE
 
Lastly, If u use the  'shampoo', and yet u see Mike Arroyo, Angelo Reyes, Javit Singson,  Bishop Soc Villegas, Fernando Poe Jr and  si Armida Siguion-Reyna, and eager to eat them all!! and you walkin in a  L-shaped position my goodness! At last!!! , its not a FAKE anymore!
 
Madam M
« Last Edit: Nov 6th, 2004, 8:38am by mylane » IP Logged
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Re: Lovingly Yours Madam M
« Reply #2 on: Nov 6th, 2004, 8:51am »
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Dear Madam M,
      
    Hello. Good day. I heard about your advice column from my bestfriend. Gee, you're getting popular already. People love your expert advices and the positive outlook you have for any situation. Let me take this opportunity to congratulate you.  Grin Anyway, the advice I am going to ask you is not for me but for a friend. You see, my friend here thinks that she have fallen in-love with this guy. Only that she's afraid that this guy doesn't feel the same way she does. She doesn't want to tell him for fear of losing him as a friend. And besides, my friend thinks the guy is in-love with another woman. I told her that  if the guy do feel the same for her, then the guy must've confessed to her already but so far he hasn't. So I advised her that she should just give up on him, before things get more complicated. Was I right in telling her so? Or do you have a more sensible advice? Thanks in advance Madam M. I'll be waiting for your reply.  
« Last Edit: Nov 6th, 2004, 8:53am by K.... » IP Logged

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mylane
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Re: Lovingly Yours Madam M
« Reply #3 on: Nov 6th, 2004, 9:35am »
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on Nov 6th, 2004, 8:51am, KiAnNa wrote:


Dear Madam M,
      
    Hello. Good day. I heard about your advice column from my bestfriend. Gee, you're getting popular already. People love your expert advices and the positive outlook you have for any situation. Let me take this opportunity to congratulate you.  Grin Anyway, the advice I am going to ask you is not for me but for a friend. You see, my friend here thinks that she have fallen in-love with this guy. Only that she's afraid that this guy doesn't feel the same way she does. She doesn't want to tell him for fear of losing him as a friend. And besides, my friend thinks the guy is in-love with another woman. I told her that  if the guy do feel the same for her, then the guy must've confessed to her already but so far he hasn't. So I advised her that she should just give up on him, before things get more complicated. Was I right in telling her so? Or do you have a more sensible advice? Thanks in advance Madam M. I'll be waiting for your reply.  

 
Hi Girl, Thanks.  
 
I never realized that my column is that popular, again thanks for the info I better ask some raise from my publicist.
 
Dang girl, your question is not so easy. It needs  futher investigation for the clarification of the situation before we arrive in the conclusion for the materialization of the said problem modification for the realization before the ejuculation.
 
Anyway, I don't know what qualities of this guy that made your frend fall for him. But you need to know the guy better before you conclude that your inlove with this guy.
 
1. Are you sure that he is a real guy? You know, theres a lot of gays now and you don't even know if they are gays or guys since they all behave and dress the same.  
 
2. Are you sure that he is inlove with another woman and not with another man? Does he watch porn movies?
 
3. If you confess your  love to him and he dump you,  well dump him too. Get even.  Doesn't matter who dump first all it matters is you dump him too.  
 
4. If you really wanna know his feeling towards you, let him drunk intentionally, gave him lambanog BUT make sure the lambanog has no formalin or else  you will never know his real feelings anymore.
 
5. Stop playing games with your own mind, Girl. Once and for all settle this matter. Talk to him. If the feeling is not the same then give him a fake horse shampoo.
 
6. Since you mentioned another woman, is this another woman also inlove with this guy? If you knew this another woman....give her a fake horse shampoo too.
 
7. Have drink with him. Talk to him straight. Ask him if he likes you as frend or morethan frends. But make sure you got a real horse shampoo if you don't like his answer...lput some of it to his drink them leave him.  
 
Your Madam M
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Re: Lovingly Yours Madam M
« Reply #4 on: Nov 6th, 2004, 9:53am »
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Thanks.  Grin   Grin  Grin Now that "horse shampoo" sounds very intriguing. I think I'm gonna go buy 1.  Grin  Tongue (silly mood, sorry.)
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Re: Lovingly Yours Madam M
« Reply #5 on: Nov 7th, 2004, 6:45pm »
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Dear Miss M,
 
     Im a serious avid fan of ures...i ahve a very big crush on this dude..but he dont know it...how can i let him notice me if we only met in the room. geesh....he makes me chill really...hehehe...i hope u would give me some tips on how to deal w it....lol! Thanks Miss M. lol!  
 
its me,
 
Sharon Stain  Grin
« Last Edit: Nov 7th, 2004, 6:46pm by okasantina » IP Logged


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Re: Lovingly Yours Madam M
« Reply #6 on: Nov 7th, 2004, 9:10pm »
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Dear Madam M:
 
Why is adult life so difficult and scary?
 
 
Yours truly,
 
Patty O. Fern-Nichor
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mylane
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Re: Lovingly Yours Madam M
« Reply #7 on: Nov 8th, 2004, 11:08am »
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on Nov 7th, 2004, 6:45pm, okasantina wrote:
Dear Miss M,
 
     Im a serious avid fan of ures...i ahve a very big crush on this dude..but he dont know it...how can i let him notice me if we only met in the room. geesh....he makes me chill really...hehehe...i hope u would give me some tips on how to deal w it....lol! Thanks Miss M. lol!  
 
its me,
 
Sharon Stain  Grin

 
Dear Sharon Stain,  
 
Since you said this guy makes you chill so we might as well call him ICEMAN.
 
First I have a question for you Sharon, Are you sure ICEMAN is not a dudette? I just heard that SOME of the guys in that room are actually BI or gay.
 
How big is your crush on this guy? Make sure that your CRUSH to him is as a big as his head. Okie don't be such a greenminded, to all my avid readers, I'm talking about the HEAD, yes the head the upper part well lower part could be included if we are talking about the whole package of a certain individual. Meaning the phrase BATTERY IS NOT INCLUDED is soooo very wrong The battery should be always included.
 
For a certain guy to notice you:
 
1. Always boot him BUT act like you also got booted. Which is always happened when you trying to boot someone or the whole room you end up booting your own booty.
 
2. Always play stupid when he is around. I just noticed most of the guys in that room like you more when you act stupid.  
 
3. Tell them you look like a frog. They like frogs.
 
4. You should have a reputation like you don't wear underwear or you have a big breast. Then you will be the talk of the room. Finally, he will noticed you.
 
5. If your in a voice chat, make sure your mic has some static if the people asked  what's in the background tell them its your vibrator. Again you will be famous and he will noticed you.
 
6. Talk about horse shampoo in the room and discuss how to tell if you got a fake or a real horse shampoo put an emphasis on the fourth methods or indication, (if u tried to drink the shampoo and it didn't bubbles in your mouth --- its FAKE) tell the room how brave are you that you drink a fake horse shampoo and it did not bubbles in your mouth.
 
7. Don't as in Don't you ever talk about politics in the room unless your a PRO-BUSH.
 
8.  Tell me who is ICEMAN, I want to know then I will do the rest for you...lol Grin
 
Madam M
« Last Edit: Nov 8th, 2004, 11:11am by mylane » IP Logged
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Re: Lovingly Yours Madam M
« Reply #8 on: Nov 12th, 2004, 5:46pm »
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Dear Madam M,
 
I was intrigued in ur column and it gives me guts to write you.  I can see that u really excel in giving advices.  You know i'm not really good in giving advices, i just want to refer one problem  that i recently heard and the corresponding advice too.  Please tell me if the advice is wrong, if possible i want to follow the right advice for the good of all.
 
The story is  about a worker in Shoe Mart.  He was hired to paint the fourth floor. As he was about to move on the other area, his belt turn loose and he fell on the floor.  He died unfortunately.  The fellow workers are worried already, they're afraid that the same case might happen to them.  What are they gonna do? was their question.  Then, finally, the advice was..........they were advice to transfer the forth floor to first floor so that there's no danger in falling.
 
Please Madam M.  enlighten me...i'm really confused.
 
Lovingly yours,
 
Confused baby
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Re: Lovingly Yours Madam M
« Reply #9 on: Nov 12th, 2004, 6:36pm »
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lol...nice blod Madam M....our fairygay mother.... Grin
 
Dear Madam M,  
 
I'm a student of law around the universitybelt and right now practicing my English speaking but I have a general problem. People of all ages in my school is calling-calling me "baduy and saying yuck yuck yuck". As you can see, for the benifit of the doubt,I am pretty and cute,mother told.But why oh why!I'm always going to school with my clothes in primary colors and they are laughing. For example,I'm wearing blue blouse with yellow pants,when I'm far away,and the sunshine is shoning upon me,the color is combination,so all they saw is green, isn't it amazing!!!..with red and blue,it's violet, and red & yellow, it's orange!!,but why oh why,for the second time around.Is there a problem with that,all I'm knowing are when I look at the side mirror,I saw a cute and pretty gal,mother told too,once again...I'm enclosing my residential certificate,if you want you can call me,but if you don't like,I'll call you...wait the minute,how I'm calling you?!.I don't know your address...Damn, I'm such a foolish persona.Please say I'm sorry to me from you....I'll wait for your advise, even in the middle of twelve'o clock.......hope your understanding my letter!!....thanks!!!!  
 
Naomi Slang
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